I keep vascilating back and forth between what the true purpose of this blog should be: an e-scrapbook of my family’s story, or a place for discussion of the REAL struggles of parenting.

1. A place to hold memories. Let’s face it, we’re all creatures of habit. I realize that I’m far more likely to make a thorough recording of quotes, photos, and family tidbits online rather than a blank book. I have certainly learned NOT to depend on my own memory to hold such things on a long term basis. I realize that Tumblr has not traditionally been a place for mommies and daddies (with few, wonderful exceptions), so I appreciate the followers that I have maintained.

2. Issues of parenting. This is where it gets tricky. I strongly feel that there is a need for the “ugly” side of parenting to be discussed. However, for unlimited reasons, I have found that parents are strikingly competitive about their parenting skills. Not just competitive, but back down from any chance to find comfort, solutions, or solace from their parenting issues for the sake of their parenting pride. I can understand this, trust me. Parenting is so, so deeply personal. We often feel that every single problem, minor or major, that our children possess, is a reflection of our own imperfections. And we so deeply want the best for them. The constant pull between the two is so gut-wrenching sometimes.

Still, parenting magazines are great at addressing which $900-$2000 playhouse is best suited for your yard, how to choose a private school, or how to redecorate the playroom on a $800 budget.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t live in that kind of a world, and most of my friends and relatives don’t either.

We’re facing dating with kids, learning the state’s programs for autistic children, fighting our childrens’ educators on not inculcating religious or political viewpoints into our kids, finding doctors that don’t want to cram medications down our kids’ throats for every little thing, keeping up with the entirely new entertainment world designed specifically for our kid’s age group, and the list goes on.

The list goes on to far more personal issues, as well. The battles of selfish impulse vs. emotional needs of the family. The hard lessons that life teaches that no one prepares you for, for instance, that bearing a child doesn’t make you automatically responsible… that it takes exhausting amounts of work that doesn’t seem to ever end.

I’m willing to lay down my pride for the sake of being a better parent, stronger person, and an honest friend. I hope you’ll do the same.