An unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates was right. For if I don’t understand my actions, then I’m not being true. I say one thing, but am meaning another. People know. And I spend a lot of time and energy in denial.

When my kids complain, I ask, “Why are you telling me this? What do you hope to accomplish?” Oftentimes, they will eventually come to the “truth”–their truth. The one that matters.

I learned to be aware of my intention through one of my BFF, who owns a yoga studio and is the guru of self-aware. She’s helped me learn to examine my choices and actions, to be my most real self, to pause for a minute and reflect inward. Sometimes, I must face something about myself that I don’t like. But I come to a more true understanding of myself and others in this way.

I try to teach my kids: What are your intentions in criticizing a friend? Does it stem from anger? Hurt? Insecurity? Jealousy? The desire to control something? Why do you fight? What are your reasons for wanting _____ (for example, a new skateboard)? Is it a need or a want? Do you want to be more like a friend?

The same applies to religion. What is religion a mask for? What need is being met by believing in something that cannot be proven (or for that matter, disproven)? Why does one need religion or another belief system?

If we teach our children to understand their intentions, they will be more true and honest. They won’t have to hide behind excuses or made-up stories. They won’t have to lie to themselves or others. They will gain insight into other people’s intentions, too. Maybe their world will be a little better. It will definitely be more transparent.